dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
