and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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