did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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