Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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