Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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