Rock
Scissors
Fuck
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I have so many feelings about this burrito
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
