normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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