what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
