i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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