just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
