It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
