last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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