and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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