Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
