i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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