I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
