I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
