WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
