I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize