she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Randomize
