The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
