The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
