Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
