he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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