I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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