If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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