So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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