Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
