They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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