why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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