At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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