The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
