remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize