Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
