There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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