Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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