I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I intend to get homeless drunk
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
