i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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