So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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