I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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