it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
