Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
