you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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