I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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