And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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