Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Randomize
