I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
