I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
false alarm, still single
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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