I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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