Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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