I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize