you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
