Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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