All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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