Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She said her name was "party"
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
