all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
