Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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