I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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